“Don’t swim where anything green is bigger than your
brother.”
“Don’t go anywhere you can’t get home from”
“Don’t talk under a ladder with your mouth open”
“Don’t drink milk from any animal you wouldn’t suck
it from.”
“Don’t drink liquor until you’re old enough to know
better.”
“Don’t sleep until you’ve brushed your teeth and gone
to bed.”
“Don’t spread rumors you can’t imagine.”
“Don’t drive faster than you can with your head out
the window and your eyes wide open.”
“Don’t take ‘No’ for an answer to ‘Why?’”
“Don’t buy anything from anybody wearing a tie.”
“Don’t kill anything you can’t grow – and since you
can’t grow anything, sit still.”
“Don’t have sex with anybody until you can fart with
them.
“Don’t wear tie shoes on a train.”